May 3rd, 2022
It was said that grief changes our world by adding a hue of grey to our lens in which we perceive reality.
Though I would argue that grief has wiped the various layers of hues off of the life I thought I should be living. It has made the impossible possible. Turned chaos into clarity. Rage into forgiveness. Wonton living into conscious grit to move beyond my own limited narrative.
Grief has allowed me to see through old storylines about my relationships with my family, my work, money, my sexuality and my self worth.
2 years ago I came back to Singapore so I could mourn.
And in this time I’ve come to understand the man that he was, is more than I’ve ever known before.
In ways that words cannot express, he’s never left. He’s very much alive, embodied in my cellular imprint – in his strife, his pain, his broken dreams… but also in his optimism, his earnestness towards life, his resilience, his porousness to emotions, his unbridled joyfulness and unconditional presence to people around him.
So Happy 75th Birthday Papa! In so many ways we are still creating memories with you and sharing our love. Your legacy lives on in the work we do for each other in the family, and in how we want to show up each day to the world. May you rest in this knowing ❤️
